Elephantiasis

Welcome aboard, 2012

2012-01-18T12:18:00.000-08:00

And if it's the End of the World we have coming, then that's just fine. I choose to live, regardless of the consequences.

2011 was like traveling a comet's orbit around the sun. A case for extremes and instability....but without that parabola you'd never fledge. Be ready for the truth to come. You might as well. Truths come down the road blind and indifferent as a wrecking ball. One truth is that you'll fledge multiple times over your life. Adulthood is a state of mind leveraged against the constant pressures of swimming in the stream. Some days you'll stand fast. Other days you'll be swept off your feet. Accept that big dreams demand big risks.

Swim back to shore. Stand up again.

To Prove that I'm Not Dead.....

2010-11-24T09:36:00.000-08:00

....since it's been (GACK) two months and change since the LAST post, I give you a little thingie from the class I'm teaching at LCAD.

Back in October (is it already nearly December? Really?) I was given the opportunity to do another demo at the Laguna College of Art and Design. I decided to try something that was one-fifth instruction, four-fifths participation; I called it Design-0-Matic. Games often go through multiple incarnations between the Blue Sky phase and production. It boggles me how often this is true, but I swear to Vishnu it's the truth. Well, that's what we did over the space of an hour and change--take a game concept through five different iterations in ten-minute increments. I acted as the Art Director and divided the students into Character, Creature and Vehicle groups. Every ten minutes you were expected to crank out a few designs based on the reference I provided. At the end of this period you'd hand your sketch over to the person on your right, take the design from the person on your left, place that in front of you and, with a fresh piece of paper, re-interpret that design based on the new reference I put on-screen. We went from a gritty FPS concept to a fighting game, a sci-fi adventure game, an open-world/mmo hybrid and finally a fantasy adventure game riffing off Shadow of the Colossus. Sound insane? It was, but it was also a ton of fun. Big massive thanks to Jason Scheier for sticking around and sketching with the Vehicle crew!

I used the work from that session as the basis for a school assignment in my Digital Painting class. The painting above came from an online session a few weeks ago. This and more such stuff will show up at the blog, and soon! I still have about a hundred pieces of art to post. (It was a productive session.)

http://design-0-matic.blogspot.com/

Enjoy, have a wonderful Turkey Day, and I will see you on the far side of our communal tryptophan-induced coma.

More Still Life for Thee.

2010-09-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

Here's one from the 9/13 class session. DS Lite, baby. Painter in your pocket.

Still Life with DS.

2010-09-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

Last night was a great class session. I cranked out a little study on my DS. My hope is that the students will post their work to their blogs. (Hint hint. I know some of you read this. Post 'em so the world can see 'em! :D)

Did a little tweaking in PS, got some of the lines a little tighter, that's about it. Did I mention how good it feels to be painting again? Exercises, that is. This kind of work equals calisthenics for painters. Now to make this a habit again so I get my chops back.

What are you lookin' at?

2010-09-17T10:00:00.000-07:00


Shooting Star

Maybe something beautiful beyond words. Maybe something nobody else can see. That doesn't automatically make you crazy. Or maybe it's better to say certain kinds of crazy are good for the soul.
We're born porous to the wonders in the art of everyday life, a gift that's generally beaten out of us by the time we're adults.

Stop to appreciate the light between the leaves.

Give yourself the latitude to draw something ugly.

Write some bad poetry straight from the heart and give it to a person who matters to you.

The world will always be full of wonders but you're not a permanent resident. Enjoy what's given you and don't be afraid to be worthy of more. Maybe.....maybe there's only one shot at this game. Make it count.

Oh SHUSH.

2010-08-31T10:15:00.000-07:00

What, YOU again?

Inner demons rarely get banished forever. You get better at muzzling them, that's all. That's enough. They're a part of you. Maybe your hands aren't obeying your will as you think they ought; you don't solve the problem by cutting them off. Figure out what's making them misbehave and face it. Reshape it. Transform it. The relationship between the you is a two-way street, I don't care what he says.

Every once in a while, when your circumstances call up old sheet music, those demons reappear, reduced in volume but still pungent as cat breath and ready to enact the same old stage play.

You get to say "no." Truly.

Friday: back to presenting some personal art.

2010-08-27T10:11:00.001-07:00

Oh Happy Friday, my Brethren.

Something provoked me into posting some of these old concept roughs. I don't feel the connection to this stressed-out little stones that I used to. That's tap-dancing in the right direction. Anthem Blue Cross doesn't cover bolts through your head.

They get me on an artistic altitude, though. Something tells me I'll be doing a second pass on these ideas eventually.

The Last of Paris?

2010-08-23T08:33:00.000-07:00

Oh, probably, but you never know. I still have a few that might get seen here. I've got plenty of Prague pictures to post, though. Watch this space!

EDIT: dern mah faulty memory. New image added, old one excised.

What the hell, another Monday in Paris!

2010-07-05T16:36:00.001-07:00

Though it's a month after the last post and I'm still not in Paris, dammitall.

Monday in Paris...

2010-06-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

More Paris, Because I Can.

2010-05-27T08:38:00.001-07:00

If it's Wednesday, This Must Be....

2010-05-26T09:58:00.000-07:00

Paris.

Time for a few more shots.

2010-05-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

Pictures, that is. Photographs.

Ant on the Road

2010-05-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

Back from France, Paris and Lyon, with photos in tow. Enjoy!

The Rescue.

2010-02-07T14:59:00.000-08:00

Coming to SoCal was, as the saying goes, a "learning experience". I have indeed learned much since moving here. Wildfires are scary, for instance, especially when they're burning towards you and all you hold dear. Corporate culture and grade school still have much in common; there's another. Endless sunshine is not as great as it sounds. I remain capable of making a living at art, even here, where the competition is as fierce as it gets and the cost of living puts the "dick" in ridiculous.

Ever notice how sometimes you notice growth because someone else points it out, apropos of nothing, and other times you recognize it because you simply don't have feelings, or attitudes, or inhibitions you once had?

We are constantly urged to go, go, GO in this culture. Yet you can't bring about substantive change in yourself unless you're willing to stop, take a deep breath and look into the places that scare you. Intentional change is pretty much the best there is.

I've proven to myself that I can keep up. That's probably the single greatest revelation to come from my stints at Carbine, Meteor and Red 5. Okay. So I can keep up. That had as much to do with personal growth, if not more, than any art skills I gained. Now I want to get back to growing as an ARTIST.

I've got about a million paintings and drawings to go. Let's get going already.

VIVA, NUEVO SCANNER!

2010-01-28T12:26:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday. Time for an update.

Got a brand-new Epson Perfection V700 Photo scanner today. Finally I can start scanning and uploading the efforts of the past year! The nice lady above was a model at Glen Vilppu's head class from last fall. Good good stuff. Here she is again:

Huzzah Technology!

A New Year, And....

2010-01-11T10:01:00.000-08:00

Screw you, big giant bullet shell bomb thing. Seriously, screw you. I used to wish you'd just go away. Then I thought maybe I'd bury you so deep I'd forget you ever existed. You got to run the show for a while. I found you again, on a proving ground of my own choosing. Now I know you're a part of me. I accept that. One of these days you'll get the love you need. But I'm done with being afraid of your shadow. It's high time you were afraid of mine.

Hang around up there all you want. We both know that's the worst you can manage.

Who's running this show, anyway?

2009-12-13T12:41:00.000-08:00

Traumatic events lock a part of us away. That part forms a snapshot of our adaptation to the pressures we were facing at the time. They accumulate. We collect and organize them, mostly without thinking. Then boom! you're all grown up and that family album of snapshots has become a force so close to you it's nearly invisible. It's the you that figured out how to survive at five, or seven, or ten, when the world came up to your sense of innocence and took a big bite out of it.

Trauma's always aimed at the heart. We react instinctively to defend her. What's being defended, though: the heart or the family album? The adult or the ten-year-old?

Be a scientist. Examine where your feelings are coming from. Spell it out for yourself and see if it's as convincing on paper as it is in your head. You aren't a car doomed to be driven by the terrified one inside all that armor. You can choose to take the wheel yourself. You've got that right.

Is this thing on?

2009-12-12T09:00:00.000-08:00

Keep screaming. Someone's bound to hear you eventually. Right?

VROOM.

2009-12-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

Nobody says you need to stay flat-footed on Earth.

Nobody worth listening to, anyway. Flying is the sort of thing dreamers do. Never take that for granted.

Boy, you're gonna carry that weight.

2009-11-30T08:11:00.000-08:00

...really? You sure about that?

I swear you don't have to.

Hello?

2009-06-14T13:32:00.000-07:00

Is there anybody out there? No?

Better stay inside where it's safe. Ignore the teeth. They mean you no harm. Most of the time, anyway.

Bullethead.

2009-05-24T09:33:00.000-07:00

Looks like that hurts, fellah.

...maybe you should consider letting all that stuff go?

Just a thought.

Incoming....

2009-05-17T09:13:00.000-07:00

Some days you're the artillery. Other days you're the one getting shelled.

BLAMMO.

2009-05-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

Here's another. Man I love those Pigma Micron pens.

Too Much Silence.

2009-05-03T17:45:00.001-07:00

It's way past time for some art.

You break a limb, you get it fixed. Then comes the physical therapy, getting the soggy muscles to behave as they should. The analogy for a mental injury is proportionate (if a little less concrete, most of the time). So dig. The deeper you dig, the more thoroughly you face the injuries, the greater the likelihood you'll come out the other end in much better shape.

I know venting has an allure of its own. Self-analysis can become self-indulgence. Part of the virtue of the journey is learning how to tell the two apart.

We get to choose more than we sometimes are willing to admit.

Honestly, now.

2009-02-22T21:15:00.000-08:00

They say (whoever "they" are; have you ever met "they"? I keep hearing about 'em but still haven't encountered 'em after 40 years) "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade."

I say when Life knocks you down, give Life the finger. Then get back up and give Life utter hell.

Hunting Hearts.

2009-01-19T19:10:00.000-08:00

Watch out for those things that want your heart for breakfast.

Uh huh. Keep on talking.

2009-01-11T18:26:00.000-08:00

I hate this guy. I mean really hate, with the passion burning inside the hearts of a million white-hot suns. Somehow he became a part of me, a tapeworm, a botfly larva, a dreaded candiru lodged where no fish should be. I wasn't aware of it at the time. Funny thing is, he's part of a mechanism that protected me for years, ages even, but he's the worst part. The most overt part. The part I'd most like to whip until he was a liquid and pour down the drain.

There is one thing I know about personal demons, though, and it's a big secret. It's gremlin-shattering stuff. Demons do not want to be drawn. Ever. Ev-ver. They don't like the light, you see. Their power is greatest when they're safely behind the curtains, pulling all the strings. Bring them out into the open and--you might--just--

--Deal with them.

Heaven knows what would happen after that.

Nope, on second thought it's too dangerous. Just pretend I never wrote Yeah-But's Big Secret. You can keep a secret, right?

All Kinds of Pieces.

2008-12-21T10:20:00.000-08:00

Change--intentional, directed change--moves as fast as you want it to. And if you choose to resist, to hold yourself back, don't fool yourself into thinking you're standing still. Life is a current. Resistance is retrograde motion by default. The end result is always broken pieces.

Sometimes, though, you have to break first in order to heal.

Everybody stumbles. Get back up. Keep moving.

Turn to Stone.

2008-12-14T22:13:00.000-08:00

Early on, these self-portraits were fractured, disconnected, dislocated. Here's an example.

As time passed the forms gained flesh and grew whole.

We never heal perfectly, but we're strongest in the broken places.

Take a seat.

2008-11-24T06:43:00.000-08:00

Been a while since I posted....drat! Back to weekly posts, starting now.

Doesn't look comfortable, does it? The Angry Chair ain't there to make you feel comfy. You're supposed to hate sitting there.

Crunch.

2008-10-11T11:45:00.000-07:00

Bite the Bullet, Baby.

Gingerbread Man

2008-09-29T20:41:00.000-07:00

Maybe this time HE eats YOU.

I'll get a post on last weekend's big concept workshop up soon. Thank you LCAD, thank you Concept Design Academy. 'twas awesome and then some.

And I hurted my back.

Goddamit, Gingerbread Man, let that little kid GO.

Motherf*cker.

2008-09-22T19:51:00.000-07:00

Because, of course, the asterisk renders the word above a complete mystery to you.

Some days are easier than others. That's how it works. Chin up, lil' camper. Tomorrow's a fresh, blank slate.

Thoughts of Saturdays Past.

2008-09-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

Did it happen on a Saturday? I don't remember.

Thirty years of being in the same room. No wonder the world seems frightening. He's got no experience to tell him otherwise.

But it's better than being in the room. Anything is better than going backwards.

It's a mitzvah to take care of yourself: a blessing. Remind yourself of that when you next feel the need to tear yourself down and stop before you get stared.

If it's Tuesday....

2008-09-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

..it must be this guy.

Got you all wrapped up

2008-09-14T11:48:00.000-07:00

This is necessary.

It will keep you safe.

Don't struggle.

You need to be protected. The world's a dangerous place.

Stay inside.

(No. Don't. You don't need this anymore. Let it go.)

Who are you this time?

2008-09-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

The kid stopped at age seven and a few days. The body kept on going. Life kept right on happening.

You can labor to build a business, a relationship, a family, pay off your debts, exercise to keep your body healthy, be timely in all senses, stay abreast of the latest news, play the stock market carefully, save a little with each paycheck; and in an instant it can all be wiped off the map.

You can have power over how you live your life. That is the essence of what is meant by "living in the moment". You aim to soak up all that each instant has to give you. Conscious existence. Deliberate awareness, even when the moment sucks rotten eggs, gives you a keystone when the world around you breaks.

But what happens when you can't trust your mind?

Where does your depression take you?

Grin and Bear It.

2008-09-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

Is that what it looks like? That feeling?
Is it all the time or just sometimes?
Is there anything to be done about it?

Won't know until you try.

Who's Listening?

2008-08-23T13:14:00.000-07:00

Are you? You need to. No one else can hear it, not so clearly as you. They can see the envelope. The letter inside isn't meant for them.

Change will happen, no matter what you want. You might as well make it deliberate. It's better than being swept out with the tide.

On the Following Tuesday.

2008-08-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

I thought you deserved to see a more recent piece.

Grump.

2008-08-17T16:34:00.000-07:00

Shit doesn't shovel itself.

Nobody's gonna get you out of this but you.

Get to work.

My Own Private Saturday.

2008-08-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

More personal work. I started this series in late 2006, I think; details stick but dates, they often swim out of my head. Art therapy. Good as pharmaceuticals and cheaper by the dozen, too.

Some of the images I've developed, like the one in the previous post, came straight from my pen, no planning nor pondering. Then there are the pages I filled with thumbnails for bigger projects. This sketch comes from one of my noodle-sheets.

Considering that, I probably should post another finished sketch too, don't you think? Yep. Thought that's what you'd say.

In Person, Part One.

2008-08-14T22:11:00.000-07:00

No, not really. This is (as noted) number 64 in a series of....? Who knows? I don't, but I am curious where they'll eventually lead.

Processing via art: funny, it's something we do naturally when we're kids. Then we become Big Grownup Artists and we must "set aside childish things".

Must we?

I'm coming to realize how foolish that advice is, as seen through common wisdom.

It's always worth giving things a second glance. Chances are, you missed something.

What the hell?

2008-08-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

Welcome, August. Summer's coming to a close. And life? Life's crazed, but good.

I labor now for Red5 Studios, easily the best place I've ever worked for, full stop. Being at Red5 has done wonders to mitigate the bad experiences of my first year in the OC. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Though I have to make mention of the good that took place in the past 12 months. It wasn't unmitigated badness. Meeting and working with Stone Perales; Del, Bryan, Aaron, Geoff, Dave, Jennifer, Will, Bronwyn and the other cool folks at Meteor; doing some decent Magic art, getting back into plein air, getting to see all those I've missed at SDCC, even if it was for just a day. Taking Marshall Vandruff's anatomy class. If you haven't, do yourself a huge favor and take it. Friends and family, first and foremost, got me through to where I stand now.

Right this minute? I'm happy. And I AM what I am. Dig it, Stinky.

Blah blah blah.

2008-05-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

Hey there!

Two weeks ago my fellow Magic artist Darrell Riche and I attended the Shadowmoor pre-release event in Richmond, Virginia. It was the first chance I'd had to hang with Darrell in eight months, and seeing as how he's a soul brother, that meant something gigantically good. Getting to meet with some fans and earn a little cash on the side was pure gravy.

Peter Hoefling and his crew at Star City Games engineered the event like an event ought to be run, smooth, slick and easy. We'd both worked with him in the past, for the Time Spiral pre-release if I'm thinking right, a couple of years ago. Good times then, repeated in 2008. He deserves vast and polyphonic kudos for showing us another great time, he and his staff both.

Topping the cake was a gab session with a fine gent named Evan Erwin, who put together this artist's interview for your enjoyment. Listen to Darrell and Yours Truly babble like a pair of Wags!

You can find the link here!

Evan, you do great work. This is one of the best prizes I've ever had come from any event. That couldn't have been easy to manage! I remember clearly devolving into sputtering lunacy but, somehow, you got rid of those bits and made gold with the remnants. You rock, sir.

Brush Bums Alert.

2008-03-03T19:03:00.000-08:00

The next locale for the monthly Brush Bums excursion has been set. It's the Getty, baby:

http://www.getty.edu/

There are several good exhibits going on, including one on Fragonard and the Mexican photographer Graciela Iturbide. I'm planning on getting there around 11 am on Sunday the 16th and working until closing (6pm). Sounds like there are a lot of good candidates for value studies and master copies (such as their exhibit of Greek and Roman busts). That's my goal.

To recap: this isn't a formal group. There are no formal requirements, no fees, no responsibilities on your part, and my only burden, an easy one, is to give you the wheres and whens. These monthly trips are missions I undertake to get my ass out of the house and work. I spend most of my time operating alone. I don't mind that, but I don't mind company, either. Come if you like, hang out and draw, leave when you wish. It's a free-form thing.

Sunday, March 16th, the Getty! The Getty's free but parking's 8 bucks.

See you there, folks.

Some Kind of Wonderful.

2008-02-25T13:07:00.000-08:00

Artists have chops to maintain. In this, we're like musicians or athletes. Subjects as demanding as the human figure or drapery need to be practiced. The eye needs to be kept sharp, or we start getting lazy. We're like athletes.

Excepting, of course, that we can get fat, even while practicing. Do not look for justice here, compadre. There is none.

Two weekends ago, on a fine Saturday, a group of my friends went out and painted. Not all the work come in yet, so check back periodically. I'll post everyone's work as I get the jpegs. Here's mine, a pastel done from the "equestrian lot" in Laguna Canyon.

This isn't a one-time thing. It'll be a monthly excursion for me and as many folks as want to tag along. I'll announce the date and locales in advance, on this blog. Feel free to join us; we bums of the brush and pen aren't snooty. Once a month, generally on the third weekend of the month, with targets ranging from Los Angeles to San Diego County.

More to come. I had forgotten how much I love plein air.

EDIT: here's my buddy Pat's piece from the same day:

And this is a study my friend Jeremy did of a truck across the way from the park:

You Bastard.

2007-11-26T19:40:00.000-08:00

My demon: the human figure.

I've let it mock me for years. I've started to regain my chops, only to stop again.

Something about the human figure scares the hell out of me.

Only one thing to do....

....replace fear with action.

(A phrase I learned from my lovely ex, who remains my friend and occasionally whacks me over the head when I need it.)

And Now, a Message from your Muse.

2007-11-18T22:08:00.000-08:00

Hey. We need to talk.

I'm a little concerned. Peeved, actually. You may have noticed that, since I've been stingy with you lately. I bet you'd like to know why. Yes? Well then, sit back and listen.

See, you've forgotten a few things. For instance: you're a conduit. You don't own me. We have a relationship. When you abuse that relationship, you get yourself into trouble. Do you need me to remind you what's considered abuse?

Laziness. Don't take me for granted, babe. I'm not your palace eunuch. You don't grow your skills by sitting on your butt. Cholesterol clogs your arteries. Complacency clogs the conduit. That's you, remember? I'll still be here when you get around to improving yourself. Chances are we'll get along even better. It's up to you to get the ball rolling.

Self-abuse. No, not that kind of self-abuse. The other kind. The “I totally suck so what's the point” kind. I can't come through if you close the pipe at your end. Being capable of self-analysis is one thing, but dude! Ix-nay on the agellelation-flay. (Also, it gets tedious after a while.)

Arrogance. Think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread? Go stop a train with your tongue if you want people to treat you like a God. Until then, shut the hell up. Nobody gets to dictate what the world thinks of them, or what legacy they'll leave behind. Drop the facade and just be the conduit. Let your work speak for you, not your ego. Too much ego makes the muse fickle.

Being scatterbrained. Focus, my precious. One thing at a time. Too much pressure does the same thing as all the other abuses, it closes the pipe. Get good at one thing and then move on to the next. People, bushes, seashells, water, whatever it is, take one thing at a time and get good at that before moving on. Everything else will wait until you're open for a new challenge. Laziness and too much expectation give you the same results in the end.

Hyperfocus. As arrogance is to self-abuse, getting obsessive is to being scatterbrained. I can't stop you from drawing anime girls constantly, no, but when you finally bother to blink and look around you'll find yourself in a nice little cage, one you made all by yourself, and the real world will be somewhere very very very very very far away. Good luck with that.

It is a human gift, being able to open yourself to the muse. You've done some amazing stuff when I was there and you weren't. Confused? You shouldn't be. Next time you wake up after having sketched away four hours of your life, go run into the bathroom and take a gander in the mirror. You just might catch a glimpse of me.

Remember this. The better you treat yourself, the better we'll get along. The more respect you show your gifts, the more those gifts will reward you.

Remember that the gift you have is something bigger than you.

That's what will keep me around.

The Pirst Fost.

2007-11-08T19:17:00.000-08:00

And then came the waves of laughing gas.

Elephantiasis is back. I bring you eczema and cupcakes.

News at eleven.